War Times War Cries

Defeated, diseased, destroyed, disillusioned, and dismayed.  Darkened by the times, dulled by the sights, wounds to the chest, war times, war cries.

An Angel of Light, pierces through the thickest of the thick.  An Angel armored for relentlessness, torn by sadness, and weathered by loss.  An Angel that pushes on when the wings can barely move and take flight. An Angel that seeks the suffering and in all their suffering loves...loves...loves...loves.

Empty my soul, Lord. Empty my soul. I am that Angel, that Soldier of Light that presses on towards the dawn when the night attempts to overcome me and rip me to shreds with thoughts of defeat. My body may be weak but Your spirit is strong on me. I do not stand on my own feet but Yours.  Even when my faith fails You stand by and catch me and lift me to a restful state until that battle has been slayed, that beast has been defeated.

You took my sons father in May of 2004. You took MY father in January 2015.  How can I ever look at Father's Day and Mother's Day ever the same?  When you took my sons father, I bled my way through Father's Day but was able to make it through knowing I had my own father to hold the reigns until my son was strong enough. When you took my father, I succumbed to thoughts of helplessness and questions of how I could possibly make it through. I fought on to make it to Mother's Day and it broke me because that was the day only a few years ago I had to take him to the hospital and learned for the first time of his heart failure.  I was face to face with the enemies of fate that day, and here I stood all alone to face those enemies once again, defeated.

The war thirsts for more of my flesh, to tear me apart, and make me less. I wield my sword in hopes it cuts through the deception while I swing with my eyes closed. The shield I barely have the strength to hold is battle worn, and its face is damaged with the divots the darkness possesses. Where is my back up? Where is he?  How much longer? How many more battles?  How much further can I go?  My breastplate, my bullet proof vest, its power is diminishing, its power is fleeting, and I'm still in the midst of the fight, still slaying.

You know I owe you my life, and for that I will push on.  You took me from true despair and brought me back to this life in order wage war against the enemies of you. They run silent, they run deep, they are faceless, they are sleek.  Invisible, persecutors, multi-dimensional and formless.  I fight against that which cannot be seen, a force that once faced by the light, will flee.

Let me SHINE on, SHINE on, like the radiant sun that shines even in it's death.  Til the last drop, til the last day it can omit light, I will omit love. Love will be my hope.  Love will be quest.  Love will be what sets us free.

NO EXCUSES

It's almost the end of the year of 2014 and we all, as a collective, must vow to "STOP MAKING EXCUSES" for ourselves. No more pity party! No more, "you don't understand"!!  No excuse is good enough for where you've been, and what you've become. It doesn't matter if you didn't have a dad, if you didn't have a good education, if you were abused, or neglected, all that matters is WHO ARE YOU? and WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

If you're done making up lies for the reasons why you are where you are then you're my kind of person right now. If you're fed up for where this country is and who we've become as a people, then you're ready for changes because remember.....NO EXCUSES.

Pick a cause, any cause: Domestic Abuse, Child Neglect, Racism, Political Extremism and think to yourself, "No more excuses, I'm going to make a change, and it's going to start with me."  Do you realize that every problem will get fixed in this world with a little Integrity and Self-Respect (and of course NO EXCUSES)?

You don't like Racism??? Then stop putting all whites and all blacks in the same category.  Stop generalizing into thinking all blacks are thugs, and all whites are racists crackers, all arabs are terrorists and jews are zionists.  It's thinking like that, that gets good people into trouble.  There are good and bad of every race because there is good and bad in ALL OF US.  STOP GENERALIZING!! STOP MAKING EXCUSES!

You don't like Domestic Violence?  Stop making excuses for the person disrespecting you, and have some self-respect and integrity for your self-worth.  Only you can give that power to someone else if you allow it to happen over and over and over again.  We are creatures of habit, the more we do, the more it becomes a lifestyle.  STOP MAKING EXCUSES!! MAKE A CHANGE!

You don't like Child Neglect?  Start being a mentor, a mother, a father to a foster child or orphan. Form a group that reaches out to parents with drug problems to get them some help to better themselves for the sake of their kids.  Do you work too much? So much you never even see your kids and you just found out they are doing drugs? Popping pills, shooting heroin because you are NEVER around? Stop telling yourself that all that money, the big fancy house, and the newest iphone is going to WIN your kids love. START BEING THERE FOR THEM!!!  Sacrifice money for time together!! STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!  Connect with your kids!!

You don't like Political/Religious Extremism?  Whether it be the "Crazy Christians" or the "Terrorist Arabs". EDUCATE YOURSELVES!!! Know who believes in what and why and take time to make YOUR OWN stand on things based off of your OWN ethics and morals and stop trying to please everyone. Stand up for what you believe but do it with respect and love, not shoving it down someones throat or by threat of be-heading.  You win more wars with love than you do with hate! and REMEMBER: the political and religious systems are used as bait to turn people against each other. Don't FEED the MACHINE! Research before you react.

I've come to the conclusion that our biggest problem here in America is our sense of entitlement and lack of accountability. If we would just STOP MAKING EXCUSES, and be accountable for our bad choices or lack there of, we could make the change that we so desperately seek.  Life is much easier when we stand looking from the sidelines, announcing the plays, when we refuse to get in the game.  There is a time coming, it's approaching very quickly, where we all will have to stand up for what we believe, and if we don't even know what that is yet, the decision will be made for us.

May this year be the year that your eyes become open and you get in the game.
That you choose to fight in the name of love and not in vain.
May this be the pivotal moment that you choose a life that will never be the same.
That you find courage and hope in the darkest of moments,
May the strength come from a place that you never thought existed.
And may the year of 2015 be one that will forever be exalted as the year that set you free from excuses.

Gwendolyn A. Bork

 Pain to Perseverance

How true is that? "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls, the most massive characters are seared with scars"?  Pain leads to perseverance I have learned. Nothing in life creates more strength than getting back up again after being defeated.  Our body shouts, "DON'T GET UP!!! YOU CAN'T!! YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH! IT'S JUST GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN!!"  yet our hearts whisper......"You can do this, don't give up..I know it's hard. I want to give up too.....but we can't, we have to TRY."

Time after time again, I recall hearing those shouts inside me, wanting to break me down, make me submit to their power and many times I did; until one day the whisper, however small that it truly was within me, was so gentle that it created the strength within me to persevere.  The pain within me couldn't be deafened by drugs, alcohol, lust or love, time consuming activities, adrenaline junkies, or adventure seeking smoothies; the pain rose within me again, time after time, like the sun that rises relentlessly.  Damaged emotions, scarred perceptions, false views of the world, all those things were voices within me that drowned out any chance of hope, finding love or faith in purpose for my life until.......

Until one day, deep in the darkness of death; my soul left in the void of nothingness after a car accident, I found my strength in the light. As the darkness began to eat away at any chance of going back to life by haunting me with lies of deceit, unworthiness, and sorrow so severe, a light appeared.  As bright as the sun, as beautiful as the dawn, full of love and peace, it showered me with hope. "Gwen, why did you do this to yourself?  You know you are there for a reason.  Now you have to get through the physical pain in order to get back to where you are supposed to."  

                                  PURPOSE!!!!! PEACE!!!!!! ENDLESS LOVE!!!  
                                                PAIN into PERSEVERANCE!!!!

The very Creator of the Universe picked me out of the darkness that day to bring me back into a life of light, love and purpose.  The damaged emotions that drove my heart into another car that night and left my body in pieces along the road, on the verge of life and death, and in the hospital for over month, they left scars all over my body that can be seen to this day.  When you look into my eyes, you see the scar going all the way down my nose from it being completely smashed.  When you go to hold my hand, you see 8 more scars along my arm and hand where they had to drill 8 screws into my bones to piece it back together after being shattered in 14 places.  When you go to jump into the lake with me to enjoy a sunny day, you see the huge scar that splits my stomach in half length-wise from the top of my chest to under my stomach when they had to salvage what they could of my insides and/or take out due to their extent of damage.  When you listen to my voice through the sweet music it creates to soothe your soul you hear at times a rhaspiness from the voice box being rotated 180 degrees from the whip lash. When we go to run down through the field in the heat of the day, sun in our eyes, my pace sometimes slow and uneven from the bones that chipped off inside my ankle.  

My scars are my war wounds.  They are evidence that even from the depths of the deep where souls RARELY escape, a soul can be brought back to life to live a life free from lies of unworthiness that bind them into a life filled with faith in God, hope for a brighter future, and a love deeper than any darkest emotion.

Pondering a Path for 2013

And so here we are, at the Crossroads of Life, once again.  Looking back at 2012, looking ahead to 2013.  Which way should we choose? It seems that no matter which path we choose it will still be laid upon the foundation of uncertainty, unknowing, and unrealistic dreams. Yet, if they were that realistic, would they really be dreams?

With every passing day we want things that are intangible, untouchable, and impossible to face, yet we strive forward in the name of them in hopes of one day possessing their impenetrable power.  If I could just get this I could be....if I could just do this...I will be.  That hole that exists within us calls out to us during times like these demanding us to come up with the solution from within our own minds, our own heart, and our fallible ways. We are incapable of filling that hole. It is impossible for us to be happy by the ways in which WE choose. The reason being is because WE are empty souls, and from emptiness, emptiness flows.  But, if WE step away from the controls, from Light they flow, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. 

Do you want a life that will reach the depths of the impossible?  Dive deep into the Fathom of Fear that you have so desperately avoided. By facing all the things that you have pushed so secretly aside and using the power of faith to confront them, all those fears lose their power, and HOPE becomes your HERO! Nothing is more powerful than the unknown!  Trust in God gives our FAITH feet! Faith without works is dead! If you say you have Faith, then give your faith feet, TRUST that God will secure you, strengthen you, and see you through the smoke of your fears into the light of His love and purpose.  We all have a purpose, but it takes faith to get there!

Hebrews 11:1 KJV 

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

1 Peter 1:5-9

Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.   Wherein ye greatly rejoice , though now for a season, if need be , ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:   That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth , though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:  Whom having not seen , ye love ; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing , ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory :  Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls. 

Life doesn't give us the promise that if we do one thing we will be guaranteed its' proposed outcome.  If anything, life proves that nothing is certain and the probability of those things coming to fruition are almost impossible. Statistics reveal the probability of all things in life that we desire and most times they aren't things we want to acknowledge. What do we do then?  Do we stand still? Refuse to make a move?  Stand in one place as long as possible? Most people do live that way and never see progress. Every journey begins with a single step!  A STEP OF FAITH! During these dark days of uncertainty where the probability of success is grim, it is faith that gives our feet wings of things hoped for but not seen.  Our faith, is more precious than gold! Just like how gold has to be refined by fire to reach its purest level, so must we be refined by our faith in order to see the salvation that God has prepared for us through Jesus Christ. And not until the very end will we know if our faith has reached its purest form when the whole world will continue to crumble around us; death, famine, tragedy, loss, persecution, disease, dark, dark days. 

Ephesians 6:16 

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 

Deception, worry, fear, lies, doubt, chaos; all of these things will continue to invade our thoughts as we approach the fulfillment of this age. Those thoughts can have the power to take siege of every member of our body, from our hands, our feet, and our very words that we speak.  Don't let the lies of this world prevent you from seeing the dreams, the purpose, the peace, love, and life that God has already prepared for you.  Defeat the fiery darts of those without love, shooting lies into you heart, attempting to poison your whole body from moving forward by taking up the Shield of Faith.  You have a purpose!! I HAVE A PURPOSE!!  March forward in allegiance to others of like mindedness knowing with arms linked, shields connected, feet planted, that we CAN, and WILL stand strong with ONE mind, ONE heart, ONE faith!!

TAKE UP YOUR SHIELD OF FAITH IN THE YEAR OF 2013!

Give your faith feet by FORGETTING about the fear of this world!

Don't FORGET you are NOT ALONE!

TAKE THAT FIRST STEP TOWARDS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

MAKE 2013 THE YEAR YOU LET GO and LET GOD!

Time is of the Essence

What else is there to say when all the good have gone or slipped away?

What truth can be spoken if the truth has been diluted to fit into what we call "today"?

What is black? What is white? What is faith? 

Nothing is truth if it is found in the gray!!! 

To be made aware of a realization that all politicians are just puppets and all governments are pawns; that is just the beginning.

We use technology as a measure for progress but progress means something else to each and every man that is watching. 

We are building upon the same machines, the same foundation that has been there since the the industrial revolution.

What kind of revolution are we building upon when it's a progression trap to anything but an easier solution?

Technology does not bond our relationships but breaks them apart. 

Whether you need a new wife, new life, new friends, or family,

Do a google search and you will find a replacement for them immediately.

Why make an investment now for eternity?

 

Please be forewarned our souls have become soul-less!  

Our minds have been brainwashed.

No child left behind was just a way to keep your children ignorant.

Ignorance is bliss when it's all so meaning-LESS.

Our time is arriving where we must come face to face with what we have become.

While you sit there watching TV, arguing about who's right, the time will have come.

Be forewarned that, "that" time is arriving shortly.

Be diligent in your quest for truth or your time will come swiftly.

Don't take for-granted a single moment of this futile existence.

The End is also just a moment, a single moment....the LAST DANCE!.

 

 

Calling all Brothers & Sisters

Calling all Brothers and Sisters!!

Ok, I know it's not the prettiest and best picture out there but how can one deny the ultimate innocence and unity that's naturally being veiwed here?  Children as far as the eyes can see, looking at one another in an attempt to communicate through the drums, feeding into eachother, creating something as One. Allowing their innocence to flow freely through their hands with bravery in their arms and courage in their legs.  It absolutely amazes me to be a part of such creations. From an adults perspective, especially one like mine, who's equipment is in there that they are playing with, expensive and prescious to me and my band members, that still didn't force our feet to their creation and abolish it in fear of breaking equipment and losing money. Instead, we stood back and gazed in pure awe as they delivered the fiercest and most pure message through music that I've been honored to experience. In the background fireworks were being blown into the sky to celebrate our freedom within this country yet as our freedoms are slowly being taken away those children made me realize in that moment that there is no freedom unless our minds are free like those of those children.  Their faith is in US!! Their Moms and Dads, Uncles and Aunts, Grandmas, Papas!  What an HONOR!!! 

Every year as I plan the largest party of the year at my house to bring the generations together under the umbrella of love; I work my butt off for weeks on end getting the house ready for the masses, it is my labor of love.  To see the children smiling and becoming friends forever, knowing that one day as they grow older together they might fall in love and have their first kiss on that day, or create a vision that will shoot them into the future of their dreams. I see the Moms, Dads, Grandmas, Papas all enjoying their children and grandchildren as if there were no evil in this world and time stood still on that day.  I see people who've never met hugging and exhibiting behaviour to the untrained eye that would seem like they've been friends forever. All in all, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, we stand together on that day in the name of love.  Someone said to me the day before the big party, "I believe in what you are doing here Gwen, well let me stand corrected, I believe in what God is doing here!" How true that is!! I only wish to unite us under the covering of acceptance, forgiveness, forebearance, and most of all LOVE. In the attempt to do so, my heart overflows with passion for every soul who steps foot onto my land, and through love, through YOU (my family of brothers and sisters), on that day WE will ALL be CHANGED.

LIKE A FEATHER IN THE WIND

When I lost my first born son's father when my son was only three months old, THAT HURT.  I looked down at this amazing, beautiful creation, created by the union of him and I, and how beautiful but SO SAD.  Last week marks the 7 year anniversary of his death (RIP Joshua), and EVERY year it never gets easier to face Mother's Day all alone, realizing how important a father's place in his children's life truly is. Over the years from having to diffuse the pain I see in my son's eyes from not having him around, I too suffer from only being one woman; emotional, illogical, empathetic, sensitive, and completely unable/incapable of being his father.  I tell him his father is with God, in a Heavenly place where he can hear his sons thoughts, wishes, dreams, and our Heavenly Father is there to do all the things that his Dad would do like providing a home, food, safety, security, and direction, but unfortanately from afar.  I tell him that he still has amazing men in his life that are there to give him that love his dad could've given him like his Papa, his uncle, my close friends and their fathers but does it ever take the pain away that wells up in his eyes at pure moments of loss? No.

Here I am, Sunday, Mother's Day, facing the internal struggle I face with every year of  having to do this life alone without him and then I face another stuggle; taking my own father to the hospital due to congestive heart failure. Thoughts of possibly losing my Dad leaves me in just as a restless and helpless state as I have witnessed time and time again within my own son and trying to look at life without him, leaves me feeling desolate, empty.  My faith in God secures the peace within me that he would be progressing to the next state of life, a rebirth, if he were to die in this physical realm but why does the pain then still persist within me?  My son tells me that he never got to have time with his Dad, and how true that is. He tells me that even if Papa were to die today, I still would have had my WHOLE LIFE to have spent with him. How do you tell an 8 year old, your fears are just as real as his and that there is no cure even long after he is gone for the loss of his life within our lives?

We are nothing but a feather in the wind, being tossed about by the winds of change. Where will we end up? When will the wind cease and the enveloping properties of its' effortless momentum resist our need for adventure where we will slowly fall to the ground, no life within us, our journey over, our final destination?  Here I am contemplating life and death yet have SEEN death to SEE life once more.  I know what is to come, and what we must face in the darkness before the light can come but it still doesn't make living life on this earth without the man I love so much and have called Father ANY easier. I guess this moment was nothing more than a dose of reality for me to feel the pain my son feels, the pain we all feel when someone we love is approaching their limits and we are faced with dealing with life without them.  As I would say to my son when he does something I don't agree with, "Not a fan" I would say, "Not a fan" yet this day has made me a participant of a day that is soon to come, a day that must come, and a day that will bring my heart to it's lowest moments since the death of my sons father.  Father, father, how we need thee. Father, father, you are my everything....Let the strength that resides within me prevail the winds of eternity.